Lyneham Revisited

Welcome to Lyneham Revisited

This area of the site is all about what used to be. If you have any information that would be suited to this page, then why not email us. Do you have any old news stories from the past to share?

Do you remember when

  • Britannia was based at Lyneham too.. I remember well flying one from Brize to Malta!
  • The Large Car park behind the NAFFI used to be an open air swimming pool! Be cool to have that reinstated!
  • The Britannia Aircraft was based at Lyneham (Pictured)
  • The Insurance Brokers used to be a Florist – Run by Mrs Turtle
  • The Chinese used to be next door to the BP garage
  • Wiltshire Car Centre used to be a Ford and Reliant Garage
  • The Mallard used to be a butchers shop – Still is ain’t it đŸ™‚
  • Lyneham without all the married quarters – A proper village until the MOD came along!
  • The Ark Charity shop used to be a bakers – Park of Bassett Bakers!..They use to do wicked Chelsea Buns
  • The Banks garage, now Zebedee & Powney, has also been, The Cheap Van Centre, Maxfield Motors, Wiltshire Car Centre, Start Racing, Furniture restoration….
  • There was only one Boring village Website! – Least now there’s one boring one and one funny one!
  • If Lynehams ever had decent tasting fish and chips – is it just me who finds them gross? (Bassett MUCH tastier)
  • The Pizza parlour used to be a bookies
  • The Laundry used to be Lyneham Computers, Pine Shop, Pet store, Bike Shop, Kiddies clothes shop.. The building is Jinxed..!
  • Akers used Car Centre used to be the JET garage!

Moving to Lyneham

So! You are thinking of moving to Lyneham. This page is to give you a brief insight into ‘life in Lyneham’ which may persuade you to come and live here, or steer well clear. Either way, we hope you find this page useful!

The Good Points

Affordable Housing

There is normally plenty to choose from. From orginal cottages, ex local authority homes, ex MOD homes and a couple of modern housing estates offering mainly 2 and 3 bed terraced homes. Not a huge choice in upmarket homes though so if your looking to spend more than say £180K best look elsewhere! If you are looking to buy a house speak with our local mortgage broker from they specialise in bad credit, self employed and remortgaging with a network of specialists up and down the country.

Homes to rent

There is normally a good choice of reasonably priced homes to rent. A lot of property in Lyneham is bought specifically to rent out!

Choice of Takeaways

You can eat something different everynight if you wanted to! Chinese, two indians, Pizza parlour, Kebab house & Fish & Chips! There’s a greasy spoon Cafe here too!

No snobs

You’ll find most Lyneham folk are just normal working class types. It certainly is not a posh village so if your looking for status, you’d better look elsewhere!

Two Supermarkets

With a fairly large Londis selling a wide range of products, albeit a bit pricey and a Tesco Express store you’ll find pretty much everything you will need locally!

A Petrol Station

Another useful village asset, although a few moaning twats in the village seem to think the owner can sell fuel at the same price of the large outlets or supermarkets (Durr!)

A Whore House!

Yep, located just outside the village on the Banks with a choice of not so fine and not so young ladies!

Other Shops!

There is also a Florist, Thrift shop, Charity Shop, Insurance broker, Barber shop, Pet grooming palour, 3 car sales yards, a choice of around 4 car workshops and a farm shop close by!


There is normally something going on or kicking off in one of the locals. As it’s mainly a working class ‘village’ you’ll find many a drinker everywhere. If you like ya drink and socialising, you’ll find Lyneham ok (as long as you can escape every now and then)


If your a ‘toker’ then join the gang! lol.. A very popular past time here in Lyneham!

The Bad Points

Bit rough round the edges!

Although we have a village status, Lyneham does not feel very much like one. This is mainly down to the RAF’s presence which, even once they have gone, will remain with Lyneham forever. Saying that though, if you ain’t posh and can’t afford proper villager life like Castle Combe, Hullavington, Bremhill etc etc, you’ll fit in! You won’t find that many nice looking buildings either. The vast majority of Lyneham is Council houses and MOD houses and few modern thrown up in 2 days houses.

Heavy Lorries

You’ll see plenty of these hurtling through the centre of the village!

Few Knobheads!

There are a handful of knobheads living here although they do tend to keep to their own very small circle of chums. One in particular thinks he’s the fucking Mayor of Lyneham and will try to dictate morals to you. It’s just a shame he can’t afford to go live in a proper village!


Plenty of these hanging out all over the place, which you will just have to get used to. What with all the RAF and Army families coming and going, it’s an age old problem for Lyneham. To be fair though, they really ain’t that bad considering. A bit of underage drinking, litter petty crime and skateboarding in the street – but hey ho! It’s better than getting ya car knicked, granny mugged etc!


Despite their presence, they don’t actually contribute much to the ‘village’ way of life and it’s a bit late for them to start now anyway, seeing as they are going in a few years (hurrah!)

Not a great deal to do!

If your fine with just drinking and socialising great! If your looking for something a bit more adventurous than walking up our famous dog shit alley, you’ll have to look elsewhere! They say a lot of Wiltshire is of outstanding natural beauty, but you’ll find the immediate countryside a bit bland.

No late night drinking

You’ll have to travel to Swindon for this as the locals shut around 1am at the weekends. Still, there is normally a party going on somewhere!

Dog Shit n Litter!

Plenty of both around the village! But then, a lack of bins or lack of pride in the village does not help

Parish Council Details

Welcome to the boring Parish Council section of this site.  We doubt many of you out there give a toss as to who our Parish Councillors are or what the council get up to but at least you know who to contact should you need to!
Main contact details for the Council are below whilst in the 2nd column there is a full list of all the current councillors!
Mrs Sue Copp is the Clerk and in most instances should be your first port of call should you wish to enquire or complain about something!

Mrs Sue Copp

  • 117 May Close
  • Swindon
  • SN2 1XA
  • Tel 01793 490706


This page gives you some general information about the County of Wiltshire. There are some great, and weird, places and activities to visit and do for tourists and moonrakers alike!

Wiltshire! The Gateway to the West Country with it’s beautiful scenery and interesting places. With nearly half a million residents over an area of some 348000 Kilometers the majority of which is designated an area of outstanding natural beauty. With plenty of great sites to see, numerous walks, market towns and plenty of places offering great food and accommodation.

Wiltshire, with it’s mystical forces of Avebury, and Stonehenge, which are known the world over, and the largest man made mound to be found at Avebury, a stones throw away from the largest Burial Chamber in Britain, Long Barrow. Wiltshire also has many crop circles throughout the summer months fueling great debate around the world.

There are many Market Towns in Wiltshire, including Bradford on Avon, Calne, Chippenham, Devizes, Malmesbury, Marlborough, Melksham, Trowbridge, Warminster and Westbury to name a few, and the City of Salisbury with it’s Stunning Cathedral. Click on the map image to see where places are.

You can find much more about Wiltshire on the website!

Please come back soon, as this area of the site is soon to be reworked with much more information available. is proud to be associated with Wiltshire.

North Wilts County Council

Wiltshire County Council

  • County Hall
  • Bythesea Road
  • Trowbridge
  • Wiltshire
  • England
  • BA14 8JN.
  • Customer Contact Centre(01225) 713000

North Wiltshire District Council

  • Monkton Park Offices
  • Monkton Park
  • Chippenham
  • Wiltshire
  • SN15 1ER

Main Office Opening Times

  • Monday to Thursday 9.00am to 5.00pm
  • Fridays 9.00am to 4.30pm

Council Tax & Housing Benefit Call Centre (Telephone Only)

  • Monday to Thursday 8.45am to 5.15pm
  • Fridays 8.45am to 4.45pm

Council Tax Enquiries

  • Customer Services, Monkton Park, Chippenham, Wiltshire SN15 1ER
  • Tel: (01249) 706246 Fax: (01249) 443158
  • Email us at [email protected]